Gist & Gossip
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Comical Ali - Comedian of the Year |
| There is always a comical side to everything no matter how serious the matter may be. The same thing goes for the recent "liberation of Iraq" by the Americans. During the war one man stand out above everybody, even more than the two main antagonists, Saddam and Bush. The man with his heavily accented "Arabic Queen's English", was no other than Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf popularly known as "Comical Ali" by the Western press. |
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| My people, this man take the war to a different dimension with his endless press conferences. Comical Ali make everybody believe say the war was not going according to the plans of the Americans and that the news wey we dey hear from western reporters were mere propaganda. | ||
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The
man with his trademark beret and peculiar smiles get so many phrases
that will linger in our memories for years to come. Enjoy some
of his statements uttered during the war and Gisters crew get
dem own responses to every quotation:
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"There are no infidels (American troops) in Baghdad". "I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad" - when American troops and tanks could be seen a few hundred yards away. On the report that American troops don take over the Saddam International Airport, his first reaction was, "completely unbased, that's not true...[laughs] Saddam Airport...No, this is silly. They are nowhere near the airport... they are lost in the desert... they can not read a compass... they are retarded." After a few days we hear him say, "The Americans have been defeated and killed and they are committing suicide in their thousands as I speak to you, we have recaptured the Saddam Airport" - as at this time, America had already established a stronghold in the airport. "We will slaughter them all, those invaders, their tombs will be here in Iraq" - whilst the American tanks were just across River Tigris. When one reporter tell am say he saw American tanks on the streets of Baghdad, Comical Ali's reply was, "No, no, no, maybe there are two or three tanks, but they will go" Referring to President George Bush, the son - "Little Bush, this man is a war criminal, and we will see that he is brought to trial". Then wetin we go come call Saddam, Big Saddam? On the extent of casualties, he said, "Yesterday, we slaughtered them and we will continue to slaughter them." Dem be Christmas goat? Whilst we dey watch the Feddayen fighters running helter skelter on the television - Comical Ali said, "We chased them... and they ran away..." "The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!" Look who is talking, pot-calling kettle black. "They think we are retarded - they are retarded." Okay this na draw! There is a thin line between both parties on this issue. "Lying is forbidden in Iraq. President Saddam Hussein will tolerate nothing but truthfulness, as he is a man of great honour and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truth evidenced in their eyes and hearts." - Freedom of speech in Iraq? No wonder Comical Ali was able to feed us with all manners of lies. As of now, no one knows the whereabouts of this man after the fall of Baghdad, but to our surprisation, he is not on the 55 wanted list of America, because dem no take am serious. Even our source in White House say Bush wan employ am badly as Campaign manager for next election. |
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