"COMMONWETIN"? - NAIJA SET NEW SWIMMING WORLD RECORD

"This is 200m men's freestyle swimming event, in lane 6, representing Nigeria… Otiko Kpiliboh!!!
Na so the announcer voice carry the message reach yours truly where he dey relax dey enjoy the sun and scenes at the last Commonwealth Games in Manchester England. Swimming ke?

When we enter wetin we see na original "ijaw" man. Infact my brother don lose before the race begin, when every other contestant dey wear body fitting swimming trunks na one "baggie knicker" my brother dey wear. As if that one no do, our brother no wear cap and goggles to protect him eyes from water. The only time wey he dey level with the other contestants wey include the best swimmer in the world Ian Thorpe of Australia na when dem wan start the race as all of them leave immediately the race begin.

Na understatement say the boy disgrace us no be small. First of all, the other contestants don finish the race, infact some don begin drink beer for pub and our brother still dey inside pool dey struggle to finish the race. To add insult upon injury, the spectators come dey cheer the poor boy as if say he wan break world record. Na so my brother dey put more effort. Who go blame am as he no dey see anything inside water because he no use goggle and my brother no know say others don finish the race. Na small e even remain make water comot him knicker, na God say make he use "rope" tie am well well.
Trust G-Crew now,when he finally finish his "journey", we accosted him and this na wetin happen between us:

G-Crew: ol' boy how now?
Otiko: hello

G-Crew: wetin happen?
Otiko: my brother I no just know o, and I train well well for this competition o

G-Crew: eh en, ah sorry o, na for where you train sef?
Otiko: na for one river wey dey for our village, cos all the great hunters for my village dey always swim there for good luck, when I come reach Lagos before we come here I train for "magidun river" "ogunpa river" in ibadan and bar beach.

G-Crew: wetin go come happen now
Otiko: I no know o, chei! And I don tell my people say na world record I dey go break, and carry money come meet dem, wetin I go come tell them now?

G-Crew: don't worry you don set a new world record, at least you be the first swimmer to finish that distance in that kind of time wey you spend, also you be the first swimmer to swim without goggles and swimming trunks. My brother abeg be proud at least you show say nothing "common" for this "Commonwealth"
Otiko: thank you my brother, abeg I wan go inside cold dey catch me.

Yeepa!!! Swimmer wey cold dey catch.